i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
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just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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