Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
