I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize