ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
