I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
