i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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