Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
