she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
