I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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