Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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