what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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