you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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