HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
