So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
