Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize