I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
