they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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