I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Buhtt sex?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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