Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
