ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
