If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
