You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I understand Curling. That high.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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