just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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