my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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