so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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