Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize