Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
