sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
