Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
