Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
