Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
