Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
