my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
