I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
