i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Randomize
