Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
