I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
