Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just gift wrapped bread.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
