Don't you send me to vm
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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