I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
