It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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