5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
