I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
