So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
