so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
