Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
