How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
