I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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