he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
