i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
