There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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