Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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