Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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