You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
