At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'm always down for nudity.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
