Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
