I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize