I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Randomize
