Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize