Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
my liver is dry heaving
I forgot wine drunk hurts
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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